I’m Tired of being a Mom-it sucks!

7 Dec

Every year around this time, I have to see all these family pictures on cards, in emails, and on social sites where mothers are smiling happily with their offspring looking for all the world like some scene from a Norman Rockwell painting. At the same time, I’m making cookies all alone and crying into the dough, knowing I’ll send most of the final product to my husband’s office the next day so I won’t eat them all. My daughter calls me only to place her ‘order’ for presents, or if she pulls one like last year after we had t put her in the hospital for slitting her wrists and taking an overdose (all of which was my fault, of course), she will ruin the entire holiday for me and return all of my gifts and leave me crying for a week. I couldn’t even manage to shop or put up a tree, nor visit with any family I was so hurt. This year might be better, but I doubt it.

I honestly don’t know why I bother with anyone but my husband. I love everything he buys me and I love shopping for him. We make stockings filled with treats for the dogs and they play with tinsel and their new toys like they are our children. It’s really nice to smile on Christmas, it’s been the only time I have in years is when I’m with Daniel and the dogs.

My parents house is nothing but tense, thanks to my daughter and my brother’s family. Someone is always pissed off at someone and honestly I envy my grandmother being deaf. My mother clucks around everyone like a chicken ready to explode, and my brother (when he used to attend) was just simply an asshole, but the kind of asshole that said ne thing t your face then made a snide remark just as you were turning your back. I hate cowards like that, no balls to say anything they are thinking to your face but not man enough to keep their mouths shut.

The nieces were always odd. They had been kept inside so long and away from other humans they had absolutely no natural social skills and no trust that we were family. I actually hugged the oldest, Graycen, and she freaked and said ‘I don’t like hugs!’ Yup, schizophrenia is quickly developing there…

Then there is the jealousy factor. My dad and my husband like the same hobbies, and can talk for hours. My brother finds it difficult to carry on a conversation that does not revolve around him and his magnificence, so he is always in the kitchen where mother can pet him. Seriously, it truly is pathetic, because all Mom wants to do is play with her grandchildren! He is in competition with his own kids for his Mommy’s time!!!

You know, I have a wish this year. I’d like for my daughter to treat me like a mother she lves, and not someone who is just there to buy her shit. I’d like a really thoughtful gift that didn’t come from the clearance rack at Walmart on Christmas Eve, or something regifted, or something my Mom bought for her to give me so I would ‘shut up and be grateful I got something’. (Yes, I’ve heard that more than once.) I’d like someone in my family to spend some time and think about what it is I might REALLY like this year, like MY PIANO that yall gave my brother knowing full and well it was bought for ME, not HIM!!! He can’t play anything but ‘Chariots of Fire’ on it and I can play anything you name by ear or by sheet music! I don’t want another no-name purse-when you know full well my husband buys me the best designer bags as treats all year round. And don’t give me fake cheap jewelry, when you see me wearing Tiffany’s, Yurman, beautiful pearls in strands 80 inches long or blended with 18k gold beads. Even my costume jewelry is Vrba and elaborate. My mother has known me for 42 years and still has no idea what my taste is. I know hers. I had to laugh when I gave her a white gold necklace with Diamond and Pearl accents (wrapped by the store and in the box) and she made a HUGE show of rubbing the pearls against her teeth to see if they were real!!! I would have been insulted if I didn’t have t laugh at the ludicrous behavior of it all! Poor Harry, he would have been mortified!

Last year I have her a Pandora bracelet, which was too small for her due to all the charms I loaded it with. I subsequently bought another silver rope chain that was longer so she could wear it. Do you know that 6 months later when she retired, they gave her another Pandora bracelet, and she had the nerve that they gave her a ‘real’ one’? I wanted t smack her, fr n matter how I explained that my gift was REAL, she insisted theirs said ‘Pandora’. Mine had to, until she made me buy her a longer chain.

I give up. I’m having a centerpiece delivered 5 days before Christmas and she’s getting a silver and garnet bracelet that is made to look like poinsettias. I think she’s getting that horrible purse she gave me for my birthday back too. Serve her right and she’ll carry it just fr spite! LOL

At least I have my beloved husband and my dogs. My daughter and mother don’t give a shit about me, and the guys in the family just are there for the food, but my husband makes up for a good majority of holiday heartache.

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One Response to “I’m Tired of being a Mom-it sucks!”

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  1. I’m Tired of being a Mom-it sucks! « Madismother's Blog - December 7, 2012

    […] I’m Tired of being a Mom-it sucks!. […]

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